Thursday, April 24, 2008
I accidentally glanced the mirror hanging at the end of the corridor as i was preparing my dinner today and i thought i saw someone else.
This is not one of those ghost stories you heard but its true, i had living been alone in my apartment for almost five years now though occasionally Aling Tuning come in to help me with my laundry, and this is the first time the mirror reflected someone else.
The mirror was one of my families oldest collection of antiques, and had been in my room back in the province since i was a child, the mirror practically saw me grow into a man, and saw me in my good and bad times.
My mother sent the mirror when i finally decided to settle down in this apartment, and for almost five years now it had been hanging there untouched and unused only on several occasions when i took a second look on my physical appearance before i go to the office.
I was a little bit shaken and confused when this happened, i don't know if this is just a fragment of my imagination, simply my eyes working its tricks on me or my mind showing my desire to be the best i was before, or i have a magical mirror. (now thats a real nonsense i guess)
I am still trying to recover from a phase of my life that made me to what i am today, but i desire to be who I was and i believe my mind and my eyes are teaming up to focus on that goal.
The image i saw was young, smiling, full of hope and happiness. That image was me, six years ago.
I had been dreaming to be the man i was before, and had been trying to heal myself from the devastating event that ruined the foundation i build i thought was strong, and now as i grow older this desire is growing more and more stronger and i hope this event will help me focus and start truly living and not just merely existing.
I want to thank the mirror for giving me hope and for reminding me of the man i was before and my mind and eyes for teaming up in showing the real me.
Few more days and probably the foundations of my life will be soon rebuild and tower amongst those that started living.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
I was never a good speaker, I have many things in mind but i am just afraid to open up, i don't know how or why but every time i open my mouth to speak the words just flew away and i am left speechless, some of my friends always urge me to be heard but then i stumble with my words and i am always left with a heavy heart for not able to express myself.
I can easily open up when writing, and my journal is full of ideas that i know are relevant but just don't have the nerve to speak up and share them and i am very disappointed with it .
I am to my friends mister shy guy, and to those who do not know me "MR. SUPLADO" and i am not very happy about it.
I am thinking maybe the real reason why i opened this account is for me to be heard, the need to communicate that i am not capable in doing through speech and trying to do it in a different method, through writing.
A simple thank you sometimes could not even pass through my lips as if a lump is always blocking my throat and i resort to nodding and with a little shy smile to show my sincerest appreciation.
I know i can always smile and nod as a sign of appreciation to my friends, but those who do not know me tend to think i am one of those uncivilized mammals that do not know how to say thank you!
And i am very sorry about it, i call for your understanding until i find a way to overcome this unpleasant behavior!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
i am a blogger, i know that for a fact, i love to share my ideas and thoughts of things i do and think, but then, as i was surfing the net today, i learned there are things a blogger should and should not do in order to attract people not just to glance but to read his blog, and i wasn't aware of that, and i think twice, am i really a blogger?
I make post, and make them available to anyone who care to read, but then does someone really care to stop read and give a damn in what i have written?
Well footiam had been religiously coming back and leaving messages for me, then came sendo, and others come and leave simple messages in my chat box, but was that enough?
Then something struck me, why did i joined the bloggers world? is it just to satisfy my need to communicate? or i am her to entertain, to influence, or just post things for other people to look and have a reason to kill time? now i am really confused!
I can consider myself one of those called newbies in the blogging world, just had my first post only a few weeks past, and i remember my reason then was just to express myself, to find someone who would understand the state i am into, and fortunately, someone cared to listen and leave me messages, giving me a chance to take a glimpse of the other side of life, and re evaluate the stand i choose.
As a writer and a blogger , i need a reason to continue what i started, i need a goal and i have to find it fast before the bloggers world drown me into confusion.
A place to stay should and must be given priority in every trip. A place that suites your taste and would enhance the fun and excitement, and i choose to stay in this place.
A view of the hotel logo from my room
My rooms at the third floor just at the back of the palm tree
enjoying the pool
There are several ways to reach Boracay, you can choose to travel on land, in sea, or by air, But definitely the fastest way is by air. Several airline companies offer great deals and thats for you to find out, it took me 35 minutes to reach Caticlan airport from manila and approximately 15 minutes in a boat ride, and 15 to 30 minutes in tricycle to my hotel.
Taking off at Manila Domestic Airport
Approaching Caticlan airport
enjoying the view...
I had been planning this vacation for months and finally i had fun...
The experience was wonderful and i plan to go back to this wonderful place... fine white sand and so many activities that suites your taste.
Monday, April 21, 2008
After five days of pure fun and excitement in boracay, I am back in manila, back to reality but remember the fun, and the days of excitement with the waves, snorkeling, scuba diving, island hopping, para sailing, and bar hopping. Wow! i did all that hahaha
Had lots of fun but too tired to try, jet skiing, and other water sports.
Well i had fun, ill be posting the sights tomorrow, bit tired, have to get ready for the work i left in the office, and have to refresh my mind.
good night guys!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
two days before my trip and a storm is brewing! Wow! what a luck, i had been planning this trip for months and now thats it's just two days away and a storm is approaching haha!
I haven't called the airline yet to check on their flight schedules but i am hopping the storm will not be that bad, and no flight cancellation, well there's no harm in hopping!
Well on the bright side, I won't be using sunblock if the sun hides on those thick black clouds!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
I had been planing to spend the summer in Boracay, and for almost two weeks now, finally my boss signed my leave form after several attempts on her side to make me postpone my long awaited trip.
I have no idea what will i see, and experience in this white sand beach paradise but i hope it will all add up to my growth and search of peace.
three days more to go and my suitcase is already packed, excited hehe but its really been a long time since i had been off from work for a week and on vacation, i just hope i would be able to leave my accounting world behind for several days and enjoy myself to the fullest.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
I really don't have any idea of Iloilo, My friend suddenly came over today and bragged about this beautiful place where he brought all the items for "Pasalubong" to me.
Filipino's usually bring back things from places where they had been for two reasons as a personal remembrance or "Pasalubong" to friends back home, I was a bit surprised but very thankful for these sweets...
Friday, April 11, 2008
Have you ever asked yourself why do we regret things that came to pass? Regret that we did something, or regret because we didn't do anything about it!
Its a complicated feeling really, questions of what might have happened if only we did the opposite of what we have done, or what could have happened if we did something and not just let it pass away.
We shed tears sometimes, because something or someone was lost for we were not able to comprehend to the situation and as it came to pass we realize what we did, and simply regret and hoped we did the other way around to justify the result of what we have done.
Sometimes, some things can be corrected, and so many things can be learned when we accept the consequences of our actions but then the feeling of regret could be compared to a knife that cuts deep in our heart and soul and there were times we are drowned by it and could no longer move on.
We are hurt, but that should not be the end, we should treat it as the start of a new beginning and accept the lessons and regard it as a wake up call, patches could be made, and the scar from the wound is a just reminder of the things that should and should not be done.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
I thought i had already accepted the fact that i am living "ALONE", but unfortunately last night as i was preparing the dinner i served for you from my last post, it just surfaced out, i don't know how, but there comes the realization that i am living by myself, with nobody to share my blessings, my happiness and no one to share what i am eating, and its painful!
I thought acceptance is enough, but then after last night i learned accepting the fact is not it unless there is a realization, I don't know what should come first, but either way it hurts a lot, especially if living alone is not really your choice, but the consequence of your actions in the past.
I love and lost and i stood defeated, never thought of fighting back, i kept everything in my heart and hold it there. If only i had the strength and courage, if only i learned to trust, if only i learned to open up earlier, and learned the art of letting go, i shouldn't be living alone, but then it happened and there is no more anyway i can do about it.
Life is short and we should live it by the minute, but unfortunately sometimes things come up unexpectedly and we are lost. Its alright to be lost sometimes, but not be lost a long time and get disoriented, go back to the tract and continue living.
To remember past events and people is natural but we should not live in the shadows of these memories, living with the past could do you any good, there is still a present and a future.
The past is worth remembering, but do not hold on to it. There is still present and that is worth living, but the future is worth waiting.
I am just a new comer to the bloggers world, I just started my own blog a few weeks ago, I don't exactly know the real purpose of blogging, I just assumed that this could be an online diary, just post my personal thoughts and ideas on things that i do, hear, or see.
I am just an ordinary boy next door, living alone in an apartment, I am not a very good communicator and i don't know if i am able to connect with you, I just write things as they are presented to me, in my own perception, and on how i think of things.
I just hope that through blogging i would be able to learn to express myself better and learn to connect and become a good communicator.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
I know i been living alone in my apartment for a long time, and i think i had already accepted that as a fact, but then as i was preparing my dinner today something struck me and shouted "Hey you are Alone!" , Well that is a reality but i know i had been avoiding that, and maybe today that feeling of emptiness just found its way and surfaced out.
The carrots and tomatoes are tender and a bit crispy, sweet too, I don't know if they are a good combination for a meal but at least, I know i really enjoyed it hahaha!
I love soda, and i cant finish my meal without a sip of it, they say i am addicted to it, well i hope i am not!
A twist of pineapple, well i believe they have fibers good to our digestive system, and help in flushing out toxins.
well surely it shows i enjoyed it! hahaha
Posted by terrence at Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
I just would like to thank footiam for always there, reading and always leaving something for me to ponder.
Now i think i know the reason why i lingered in the past for too long. I kept my secret in my heart, shared it to no one and therefore leaving me into the darkness without no one to cling or hold on to guide me. I decided to keep it and shielded myself from others thus making me more vulnerable. I just listened to my own testimony without understanding the other part of the story.
Footiam and my blog helped me in rebuilding my life, with the help of my blog i was able to pour out whats inside me, I was able to unload the weight i had been carrying for the past years, and with footiam for leaving messages and comments that are worth thinking, and i wouldn't be able to thank you enough.
I just hope that someday in the future I will be able to find someone, the right woman for me, but as of now i am no longer looking for it, i am just waiting for i know love have its own reason and way...
My heart is no longer broken, but this is a already a part of my life and i don't want to forget that once my heart was broken, I want to remember the lessons love and life taught me, to remember the past but not live in it, learn to share and trust, learn to live life and accept the ups and down of it, for life is a journey, and its not always a smooth ride, learn to accept your weaknesses for only once you acknowledge them that you will be able to find the answers to overcome them.
My trip to the Manila Ocean Park was just the beginning, A friend called me early in the morning as early as 2:00 am to inform me that they just arranged a trip to Batangas somewhere in Nasugbu for some water fun and i think thats great and i said i would gladly come, He instructed me to meet at them at Starbucks, I hurriedly packed my things and after 2 hours drive from Manila, we arive there just as the sun was rising. I am not a very good photographer hehehe
The rising sun and the cool breeze of the sea, perfect for a troubled heart and mind!
Floating cottages getting ready for the day!
I had my henna tattoo, before we start diving at the coral reef, the experience was fun unfortunately i wasn't able to pack my underwater camera and i could not give you pictures, only my memories dancing and playing hide and seek with the fishes hahaha...
After the dive, got some drinks at the bar and had some real fun
whoaaaa! its great to be able to go out again and have some fun...
Posted by terrence at Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
After severals hours of listening to aling tuning's melody hehehe, I decided to go out for some fresh air, she was a little surprised when i told her i am going out, she asked if there was an emergency at the office and i said nothing i just wanted to go out, to have fun, and she said good luck!
I really don't know what she mean by that, as if she was implying I am no fun guy at all haha! well she had seen me in front of the computer, the television or sleeping during the weekends and maybe she thought this is a real surprise.
I haven't decided where to go, but as soon as i got my car out of the driveway i just drove away, its almost twelve in the afternoon, the heat is really suffocating, but luckily no traffic.
I thought of going to SM mall of Asia but then i saw a sign about the Manila Ocean Park and i said that could be fun.
Got a hard time parking, the place was still under construction but many people are already visiting it, mostly families with toddlers and some group of friends!
The line was long but was there was no turning back, I am here and i should enjoy myself,
finally time for me to enter, and it was really amazing, hundreds of different fish species.
It was really amazing, though the place a bit crowded, the sight is still wonderful, the awe and amazement could be seen from the eyes of every children .
The 400 pesos entrance for adults and 350 pesos for children is not much compared to the excitement of both young and young at heart.