Sunday, September 28, 2008

some rules..

Rules For Men

1. The Female always makes The Rules.

2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. (If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.)

7. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.)

8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.

14. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.

15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.

16. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.

17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!

and that is amazing hahaha!!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Life Before the Computer

application was for employment
program was a TV show
cursor used profanity
keyboard was a piano!

Memory was something that you lost with age
CD was a bank account
And if you had a
3 � inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out!

Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you
unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!

Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a
backup happened to your commode!

Cut - you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
web was a spider's home
And a
virus was the flu!

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

How to hire people

Put about 100 bricks in no particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.

  • If they are counting the bricks ... Put them in the accounts department.
  • If they are recounting them. Put them in auditing.
  • If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks. Put them in engineering.
  • If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order. Put them in planning.
  • If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put them in operations.
  • If they are sleeping. Put them in reception
  • If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them in information technology.
  • If they are sitting idle. Put them in human resources.
  • If they say they have tried different combination's, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in sales.
  • If they have already left for the day. Put them in marketing.
  • If they are staring out of the window. Put them on strategic planning. And then last but not least.
  • If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved. Congratulate them and put them in top management!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A new word meaning...

ADULT:A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR:A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.


INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:Something other people have, similar to my character lines

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Pronouncing English...

Pronouncing English...

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

An old occupation

What happens when people of different occupations get old.

- Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.

- Old actors never die, they just drop apart.

- Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver.

- Old architects never die, they just lose their structures.

- Old bankers never die, they just lose interest.

- Old basketball players never die, they just go on dribbling.

- Old beekeepers never die, they just buzz off.

- Old bookkeepers never die, they just lose their figures.

- Old bosses never die, much as you want them to.

- Old cashiers never die, they just check out.

- Old chauffeurs never die, they just lose their drive.

- Old chemists never die, they just fail to react.

- Old cleaning people never die, they just kick the bucket.

- Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.

- Old daredevils never die, they just get discouraged.

- Old deans never die, they just lose their faculties.

- Old doctors never die, they just lose their patience.

- Old electricians never die, they just lose contact.

- Old farmers never die, they just go to seed.

- Old garagemen never die, they just retire.

- Old hackers never die, they just go to bits.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Caught Sleeping At Your Desk?

Just a few tips when you are caught sleeping in your desk...

Just say any of the following:

1. In Jesus name, Amen.

2. Dang! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.

3. I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress.

4. I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.

5. I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.

6. Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.

7. They told me at the blood bank this might happen.

8. Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!

helpful? I hope ... hehehe

Career Lessons

simple and worth remembering quotes for you....

  • 1. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
  • 2. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
  • 3. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
  • 4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
  • 5. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
  • 6. Following the rules will not get the job done.
  • 7. Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
  • 8. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
  • 9. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

helpful?.. haha

Monday, September 8, 2008

Tagalog Na Tunay

A young, good-looking representative from Laguna sponsored a bill recommending Filipino language be used in all levels of accounting firms and banking institutions. The Solon claimed it will provide a better understanding of the business transactions for those who are inexperienced and non-English speaking citizens.

The bill received unanimous approval from the House and was presented to the President for signature to become the law of the land. But in spite of the overwhelming pressure from the members of Congress, President Gloria Arroyo vetoed the bill.


She found out that when the English "business" words are translated in Tagalog, they sound very malicious and are "nakaka-hiya at nakaka-kilabot! "

Here are a few sample words - English to Tagalog

  • Asset - Ari
  • Fixed Asset - Nakatirik na ari
  • Liquid Asset - Basang ari
  • Solid Asset - Matigas na ari
  • Owned Asset - Sariling pag-aari
  • Other Asset - Ari ng iba
  • False Asset - Ari-ari-an
  • Miscellaneous Asset - Iba-ibang klaseng ari
  • Asset Write off - Pinutol na pagaari
  • Depreciation of Asset - Laspag na pag-aari
  • Fully Depreciated Asset - Laspag na laspag na pag-aari
  • Earning asset - Tumutubong pag-aari
  • Working Asset - Ganado pa ang ari
  • Non-earning Asset - Baldado na ang ari
  • Erroneous Entry - Mali ang pagkaka-pasok
  • Double Entry - Dalawang beses ipinasok
  • Multiple Entry - Labas pasok nang labas pasok
  • Correcting Entry - Itinama ang pagpasok
  • Reversing Entry - Baligtad ang pagkakapasok
  • Dead Asset - Patay na ang ARI

Sunday, September 7, 2008

A very early christmas post...

The celebration of Christmas in the Philippines officially begins on the 16th of December and ends on the first Sunday of January which is the Feast of the Epiphany (The Three Kings), but as early as September Christmas songs and carols could already be heard from different radio stations. It is quite different from the other countries of the world, it is the longest of the Philippine festivities stretching for over 3 weeks. This makes the Filipino Christmas celebration one of the longest Christmas season in the world. A rich tradition which dates back to the Spanish period.

Christmas or "Pasko" is the most awaited celebration and happiest event in the Philippines. This is also the time of the year when family get together, especially when family members from overseas come home with lots of "pasalubong" gifts. exchanging gifts and the family feast highligh the most loved celebration.

What makes the Filipino Christmas unique? Filipinos have a lot of Christmas tradition which makes us different from the other. Here are some of them:

more Filipino 101

1. arya [umarya]
- sugod,banat,salita magsalita,umiksena,tira,tara na
Example: 1. arya-up!{hurry up}

2. amps
- ito ay nagmula sa ekspresyon sa irc kapag sila ay nagagalit o natutuwa.

3. churvahan
- gawain na di maipaliwanag, di masabi o di maipangalan.
[any task, activity or action that is unexplained, undefined or unable to name at the moment]
Example: Bakit ka nakipag-churvahan sa kanya nang wala pa ako?

4. chapa
- chah'-pah n
1: pawis na bumabakat sa damit sa may parte ng kilikili

5. gulf club
- kapatiran ng lasenggero [drinkers club, mula sa salitang [gulp!]o lagok o lunok. mga lagok ng lagok ng alak [gulp, gulp, gulp!]
Example: ikaw ! oo ikaw nga, member k b ng gulf club?

6. gulf course
- lugar ng inuman [drinking place]
Example: repapeps kitakits nlang tyo s gulf course!

7. haler
- [hello] na pina-oa, nakuha sa australian pronounciation ng [hello]
Example: haler?? ok k lang?

1 - libag na namumuo sa strap o bracelet ng relo.
Example: Ambaho ng isprikitik ng Tag Heuer mo!

9. jerflits
- [thief; to steal]
Example: Examples: (1)Mag-ingat ka sa taong yan. Jerflits yan. (Be careful of that person. he/she is a thief)
(2)Itago mo ang cellphone mo. Baka ma-jerflits yan. (Take care of your cellphone. It might get stolen)
Word origin: Formulated by some Information Technology students at UST during mid-2003.

10. jogols
- mas malala pa sa jologs
Example: Kim: Tingnan mo naman yang boyfriend ni K, ang jogols!!!

11. hamster
- hampaslupang monster, halimaw.
Example: ang cute2x ni ________ mukhang Hamster.

12. hatid sundot
- [picking up someone then have sex after] often used in reference to ones girlfriend
Example: hatid sundot si apple kay johnny

I wonder how these words evolve.... hahaha

New Filipino 101

These are the words that are so unique and loaded in meaning that they will never find a direct translation in the English language. Forget traditional dictionaries. Keep this.

1. *Achuchu* (A-chu-chu).
This refers to the pointless insincerities being said during long, involved conversations about nothing at all.

2. *Ano* (A-noh).
The all-around, all-purpose word for everything.

(1) Pronoun in interrogation: Ano? (What)
(2) Noun: Where is your ano? (Where is your father/mother/dead-uncle's-second-cousin)
(3) Verb: Anuhin this. (Paint/kill/maim/castrate this.)
(4) Adjective: This is so ano. (This is so pretty/big/astounding.)
(5) Interjection: Ano! (What the hell!)
(6) Substitute for genitalia : Did you ano your ano?

The use of ano is quite dangerous for the untrained ear, and must be put into the proper setting. "Honey, the ano is too long, we have to cut it," must be accompanied by the proper understanding of the context, as results may be critical to a couple's future.

3. *Booba* (boo-bah).
A female blessed with larger than usual mammary glands,which can be used as weapons of mass destruction.

4. *Checheboreche* (Che-che-boh-re-che)
Same as achuchu. It is interesting to ponder on the reason why there are so many words in the Filipino language t! hat beautifully describe meaningless chatter.

5. *Epal* (Eh-pal).
An individual who believes he is God.

6. *Gigil* (gee-gil).
An uncontrollable desire to bite something.

7. *Hipon* (Hee-pon).
Literally "shrimp," whose body is eaten while its head is thrown away, this refers to a female whose body is to die for and whose face looks like it belongs to the dead.

8. *Kikay* (kee-kay).
Refers to individuals who carry a brush, hand wash, moisturizer, lip-gloss and various other facial enhancements in a case (aptly called a kikay kit) inside her bag. Recent inspections of various backpacks have led to the conclusion it is not a purely female trait. This breed cannot resist checking themselves out on mirrors, glass win! dows, bread knives, sidewalk puddles and plastic-covered notebooks.

9. *Kaekekan* (Ka-ek-e-kahn).
Same as achuchu and chechebureche.

10. *Kilig* (keel-leg).
A rush of excitement due to the actions, presence or even mention of he whom you see as the future father of your children.

11. *Laglag-brip* (lag-lag-brip).
The female counterpart of laglag-panti.

12. *Laglag-panti* (lag-lag-pan-tee).
A man so incredibly hot, so heart-stoppingly gorgeous and oozing with masculinity that female underwear (whether worn by males or females) falls to the ground without effort whatsoever.

13. *Indyanero* (In-jan-neh-ro).
An individual who fails to appear at an appointment without prior warning. Not to be confused with individuals who appear according to Filipino time (approximately 10 minutes before the meeting is to end).

14. *Japorms* (Jah-porms).
Describes an individual dressed differently from the usual (typically involves clothes that have been laundered and pant legs of roughly the same length).

15. *Lagot* (Lah-got).
A prophesy of evil things to come.

16. *Para* (Pah-rah)
A term that informs the driver of a jeep to stop and pause (usually in the middle of the road) as the individual speaking intends to leave the vehicle. Dangerous for individuals as drivers seem to believe having one foot in the air is all that is necessary for descent.

17. *Takusa* (Ta-kuh-sa).
Derived from takot sa asawa (afraid of wife), this is a term used to de! scribe the silent (very silent) minority of males married to feminine reincarnations of Hitler.

18. *Torpe* (tore-peh).
A gentleman who is desperately attracted to a female yet by some strange compulsion is reduced to a frozen mound of stuttering male whenever that female is near.

Armed with this list and a smile, you will be sure to make the proper impression not just on your new relations, but on your loved one as well.

Now let's practice:

"Honey, when I first saw you, I made laglag brip, and was almost torpe. When I finally got the nerve to date you, I almost became indyanero, because I didn't think I had the right japorms. When you're around, I'm kilig, when you're not, I get gigil. You may think all this is achuchu, kaekekan, just checheboreche, but in truth, my love, I'm so ano with you."

what do you think? haha

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Stress in the workplace is not a new phenomenon, but it is a greater threat to employee health and well-being than ever before. While technology has made aspects of many jobs easier, it has also added to the anxieties of office life through information overload, heightened pressure for productivity, and a threatening sense of impermanence in the workplace. In 1996, the World Health Organization labeled stress a “worldwide epidemic.” Today, workplace stress is estimated to cost billion a year in poor performance, absenteeism and health costs.

What is workplace stress?

Stress—the responses our bodies and minds have to the demands placed on them—is a normal part of life and a normal part of any job. Without stress, we wouldn’t meet deadlines, strive to hit sales or production targets, or line up new clients. Meeting the demands and challenges of a job is part of what makes work interesting and satisfying, and it’s often what allows people to develop new skills and advance in their careers. In the workplace, we regularly experience stress-causing situations, react to them with heightened tension, then return to a more relaxed state when the crisis, big or small, is resolved. However, problems occur when stress is so overwhelming or constant that the tension never abates and we never get to relax.

What we think of as “job stress” is what happens when:

  • The challenges and demands of work become excessive.
  • The pressures of the workplace surpass workers’ abilities to handle them.
  • Satisfaction becomes frustration and exhaustion.

When stress crosses the line from normal to excessive, it can trigger physical and emotional responses that are harmful to employees and businesses alike. And unfortunately, for many people “stress” has become synonymous with “work.”

just more after

I always come here if my mind is starting to get numb from the puzzles i always encounter and unlock in accounting, the view just relaxes my mind...

Just After....

whew! month end always means submission of monthly reports and finally i had beaten the deadline.

I went to the roof top to relax my mid and took some lungful of fresh air...

and took the opportunity for some pix too...

Monday, September 1, 2008

What is sexuality?

When you think of sexuality, your first thought may be the physical act of sexual intercourse. But sexuality goes beyond engaging in sexual activity.

As a human being, your sexuality is a part of your physical, emotional, intellectual, and social self. It affects how you think of yourself and how you relate to others, as well as how they relate to you, and it is a part of you throughout your entire life.

Since every person is different, it is difficult to define "normal" sexuality or sexual activity. Many factors may influence your sexuality, including your gender, sexual orientation, hormone levels, age, and personal perspectives, such as your views on sex and your religious beliefs and values.

You may have certain definitions of how you think a man or woman should look and behave, and these expectations play a part in your sexuality, too.

It's important to recognize what is normal for you--what makes you feel comfortable and satisfied--and that it may be different from what is normal for someone else.

A "normal" sexual response involves a person experiencing one or more of the following:


Desire is about feeling interested in someone sexually. For example, if a man or woman walked by, you may feel an attraction to that person or begin to imagine that person as a partner. You may think or fantasize about sex or feel frustrated because you aren't sexually satisfied. All of these feelings are about desire.


Arousal is sexual excitement, which may be caused by touching, stroking, fantasizing, or seeing or hearing sexual sights and sounds. Your heartbeat, pulse, and blood pressure rise. Your breathing may become deeper and heavier. In both men and women, blood flows into the genitals as part of sexual arousal.


A person who reaches a sexual climax has an orgasm. For men and women, this means a rhythmic contraction of the genitals, which causes intense, pleasurable feelings throughout the body. Overall, you may feel satisfaction, pleasure, and gratification.


Resolution is when the body calms down and is no longer excited. Your heartbeat, pulse, and blood pressure return to normal, and blood drains from the genital area. Resolution happens rapidly after an orgasm. If a person doesn't have an orgasm, resolution happens eventually but just takes longer.