refocus..

I've been drowning my self with work lately. I even ask my office mates to show me how things are done that i might be of help to them.

They think i am just being helpful but they don't know i am just trying to help my self.

I want to tire myself, so tired that if i go home, i will no more have time to think and think of lulay. I want and i need to be asleep as soon i reach my pad.

And i think my strategy is working, and i am gaining more and more friends.

I don't know if what i am doing is good and right, but i need to refocus my attention.

I don't want to be in pain again. I need to move on, but as of the moment i need to reinforce my heart by tiring my body and mind, so it will just be numb and feel no more emotions.

I know this will pass. This is what Lulay wants, for me to stand whenever i fall.

Its hard but i have to do it...

I love you Lulay, wherever you are, watch and guide me...

...

Why do heart's always remember and forgot to forget?

I was wondering why my heart seem to remember everything? Even the smallest and simplest detail of a certain event is so vivid that everything looks and feel like it just happened yesterday.

Looks like my heart was never taught how to forget and was only taught to remember.