to the gym!

Wow! i gained weight! and i just notice it! I shifted all my attention to my broken heart and forgot everything else and now my abs turned to tabs hahaha!

I need exercise, i need to work out!

I need to go to the gym!

A better tomorrow!

for so long sleepless nights haunted me, memories of the past making me awake all night, thinking of everything yet staring to nothing!

Yeah i am getting nuts but then suddenly, sleep begin to caress me, making me sleep like a baby, worries started to leave me and with better sleep i am now getting a better view of the future, and i love it!

the future might not always turn to what we want it, but to have a better perception of it makes us more willing to wake up and embrace what tomorrow offer us!

shrugging off the memories of the past is not easy but chose a memory that would make you step further is wiser than choosing a memory that would make you fall and never want to stand, and make you a loser forever, its not easy but there are hundreds of ways if you really want it! I learned that the hard way, But i am happy about it and i hope the future offers more than what i expected!

I had my own bruises and cuts as i fought my war, I have not won it but i learned from it and it gave me strength and determination to live and go on living!

How i did it? I dont know, i just choose a better memory, the one that makes my heart yearn for the future and not embrace those painful memory that only cause me pain!

And i think that helped me! I hope that will help you too if your heart was once broken!

Blend in!

Theres a new world thats waiting for you!
thats all right you know what to do!


I just love this commercial, says a lot!
Aliens around us, how we blend?
thats for us to find out!

You! My Blog! My Therapy!

I am broken hearted I know that is a fact, but i am trying to forget, to heal it, and be free from the binds of loneliness!

Blogging helped me a lot, It became my therapy, It helped me face the reality that i am broken hearted and i have to accept it.

Blogging help me remember i am trying to heal myself and whenever i am confronted with the memories of the past i just face my computer and describe what i feel and share it to you!

I am not yet completely healed, I am still in the first phase of healing and i don't know if i will be able to heal myself, but what is important is i had the initiative to start and try to heal myself!

And I am happy that most of you say everything will pass and everything will be all right! I needed all the encouragement i need to go on and not abandon this fight.

You! My Blog! My Therapy!

Thank you!

A roller coaster ride

Sure it is fun to have a roller coaster ride, it give you the thrills and excitement, because you know the ride will soon stop and you will soon have your feet back on the solid ground, you have the choice to do it again or never to set foot in it ever!

But sure it is no fun at all if your life is a roller coaster ride, you don't know when will it stop and you have no choice but to ride it till it stops going around!

cruising!

I just enjoyed the cloud formation!

under construction!

Caution: My Heart under Renovation!






I hope the renovation would soon be over!

Just cruising!

I don't know what came to me, i just started driving along the south super highway and just took snapshots along the way!

Waste of time? not exactly! i just enjoyed the view from the window of my car!





Thank goodness! there was no traffic hehehe!

i am wiser now!

I am again standing in another fork road in my journey to life. I do not have any idea where this two separate roads will bring me, but i can not stand here all my life trying to figure out what they offer! I have to choose a path and take another step forward.

Its hard to choose especially if you do not have any idea where the road you choose will lead you, but as they always say, you always have to move forward though your choice is not as good as you wished it will be, you definitely have to make a choice.

The last time i encountered a fork road i made a mistake and threaded a less traveled road, now i think i have am a little more wiser than i was before and take the road more travelers choose.

My previous journey was not as good as i had expected, but it took me this far, i know i learned some lessons in it though i am yet stubborn to accept the lessons i learned from it, i might be able to use some of those lessons in this another journey.

Our journey make us wiser each time, and become more aware of things as they happen, and only when we accept and learn from them that we will be able to defend ourselves in a much similar situation.

The journey is not easy but it will not be very hard if we know what to do, I just hope today as i take my first step, I will be more productive and much more wiser in facing all the obstacle that the road to life will throw.

my heart for sale!

Who wants to buy my heart?!.
im having it 4 sale..
though its only 2nd hand,
still it functions well..
cause once i sold it whole
it was returned to me into pieces.



but now i had it all repaired
so now im back in my business.
who wants to buy my heart?
satisfaction guaranteed.
it has free service charge
and a lifetime warranty.
so if your asking 4 d price
well your in a bargain.





it only costs your
LOVE..

I gave my heart away!

This is me, definitely tore my chest open and offered my heart to the woman of my dreams.

Unfortunately she did not accepted my offering and now i could no longer put my heart back.

The wound is still fresh and my heart is still in my hands waiting for her to come back and caress it and to heal my wound!

I know her coming back is just a dream, for i know she had her own dream and she found it in the arms of another man. I know i have to accept my defeat but i just don't know how to start!

I had tried a hundred and one times to forget her, but i was just too stubborn to give up. I love her so much that i don't know how to forget her.

You might say , i am stupid for clinging on for so long.

You might despise me for committing the same mistake.

You might even hate me for being stubborn.

But what should i do?

It is easy to say forget her, but do you have a way how?

Do you have any potion that erases memories and pains?

Would it be right if i love someone else again though i know my heart is still chained to her?

Is it alright to offer my heart once more to someone?

Cheers!...

for the past weeks alcohol had been one of my constant companion!
Its easy to be with if you are broken hearted!

• it do not ask questions you dont want to answer!
• it numbs your heart and feel nothing!
• it makes you sleep soundly!
• it makes you forget!

There is only "ONE" thing i don't like about it!

• "HEADACHES" in the morning!
  

Now looking back "AGAIN". I know what i did was wrong! but the temptation that alcoholic drinks offer to people who wish to forget is too strong that a human body couldn't resist!

Alcohol make a person forget for a moment! the feeling of numbness is a sensation a man in pain need!

Alcohol becomes his anesthesia to feel numb, to feel no pain!

But just as local anesthesia does, it only holds the pain for a certain period of time!

And again! the pain just comes back!

too bad.....

back to reality....

but never back for good....

cars!

choices!

for the past few days i had been very busy feeding my broken heart with painful memories, and i know i cant live like that, i need to move on, i need to do something to forget!

I need to switch my attention, i need to make myself preoccupied and make my heart forget!


there are times i wanted to drown myself with wine, to make my heart immuned with pain, but that would only destroy me more, i need to do something productive.

something i would be proud of someday!


Sometimes, i want to drown myself with work, but the more i tire my mind with the things i do , the more my heart remember her!

She introduced me to accounting, she love numbers, i love literature.

and now i learned to love numbers, i learned she hated literature!

i have to get out! live like life is wonderful, I need to capture moments that make me smile, in that way i hope, someday somewhere i will find another love, another life!


i hope...

.....

the choice i made is right!

at last!

Memories

Time and I!

Tick! tock! Tick! tock!

time is running out!

tick! tock! tick! tock!

start living!

or be left out!

Tick! tock! Tick! tock!

Alone!

How long is Forever?

five years! five long years and still the pain was as unbearable as it was first inflicted in my heart
five years ago!

I tried all the things i should and must do in order to forget and ignore the pain! But the pain just don't go away! and its making me crazy!

They say the mind was placed higher than the heart in order to rule over it! but why does my heart rule over my mind?

My mind says forget her! and live your life but why can't i go on? I am going in circles, I thought i had forgotten her, I thought i started living but then, I was wrong, I do still love her, I still treasure her in my heart!

I want to forget, but my heart says only her name! I want to live but i cant live with out her!
I don't know what to do!

Five long years! but still my stupid heart longs for her, calls her name and simply don't want to forget!

I can't do anything but shed tears as i let my heart go on to its stupidity! I cry and thats what i always do!

When will i win over this battle? Will i wait for another lifetime? I know is no longer normal! I know i have to live, I know i have to move on! But how?....

Is forever a very long wait?

.....

I need to know! I need to understand!

.....

But how?

is there a reasons to smile?

Some say laughter is the best medicine, a therapy that simply cure a broken heart! but then on second thought how would you be able to laugh or to smile if you are broken hearted?

How could you smile if your in pain? How can laughter lift up your spirit and set your soul soaring up into the heavens if drops of blood rush out of your heart in its every move?

I dont know how could a smile or laughter would help someone in deep pain, how this simple movement of face muscles relieve the pain from the heart.

Do we consider smile a therapy for a broken heart because when we smile the world smile with us? but when we cry, we cry alone?

Is smile or laughter just another fake medicine for broken hearts?

I am lost! enlighten me! help me find a real medicine for my broken heart!

We can fix broken hearts!

For too long i hid my broken heart!
Afraid that others might not understand my flight,
I hide everyday through my mask
and succeeded in fooling them that i am alright!

Day in and out i took my chance!
thought that everything will turn out right!
Unfortunately the wound never stopped bleeding!
and my body started falling!

I never understood the reason why!
I kept my broken heart out of sight!
Because i am a man I have to fight!
Be like a knight, that shows no fright!

But when i am alone the pain seeps in!
and the gallant knight nowhere to be seen!
Only a child in tears and pain!
In search for a cure, for a heartache's pain!

I searched all places for clues and reasons!
but found nothing just disappointment and pain!
I searched for help and there it was!
The cure i was searching was hidden in my own heart!