Life had been very cruel to me, I had been battered with lots of emotional ups and down for as long as i remember. I thought it came to end when i finally met Lulay, unfortunately she was gone.
And here I am, alone, deserted, and feeling neglected again.
I thought i was about to write happy moments to share with you, I thought my blog will be filled with entries full of hope and happiness, but then i spoke to soon, and here i am writing another stuff from my broken heart.
I cannot refrain from crying, my heart just can no longer contain the hurt and loneliness, I just want to cry my heart out, the loss, the pain, and the feeling of loneliness just keep pulling me down to the abyss of darkness, and i am left with this broken dreams, and another broken heart.
Have i been so bad that i am being punished and all those that i love just cannot be with me?
Why have you left me Lulay? why did god take you away from me? He knew i need you, He knew you make me whole again, but why does he keep on punishing me? Have i done great evil that i deserve this?
I wanted to hate GOD, for being so selfish. For taking away everything that i love, but who am i to do that? I am just one of his creation. They say GOD love all that he created but am I an exemption?
OH GOD! Please help me, give me strength to face all the trials you brought upon me. Guide me and please do not release my hand from your grasp, i need you to help me as i journey in this troubled path.
I feel i had been battered to much, i cant take it anymore.
HELP ME, SAVE ME, GUIDE ME, that i will be able to reach another day with the promise of a good sunrise.
4 years ago
3 comments:
"Have i been so bad that i am being punished and all those that i love just cannot be with me?"
everybody deserves happiness. try to smile... i've also been out of a relationship and i'm just celebrating singlehood. live happy now. don't wait for somebody - or someone - just to be happy. when they do, then, that will add more happiness to your life. cheer up.
i feel you. i share the same sentiments 8 months back.
it's normal, endure the pain. The process of moving on is not that easy. But you have to go through to it.
PAIN AND LONELINESS.
ACCEPTANCE.
ENDURANCE.
MEMORIES.
After getting through it, you'll wake up one morning fully recovered. The memory of him lingers in your mind will then put smile on your face...
get well soon.
i met a woman in nakpil near robinson's place ermita, she was begging, because she used up all her money to buy medicines.
i thought she was a fraud. i said i could accompany her back to the bus station, she agreed, but then she told me, we need to go back to pgh, to get the medicine her attending nurse was sneaking away from the clinic's pharmacy.
she was 80 years old. she played piano when she was young. no husband, no siblings. she stays with her relatives.
as we were walking the curious in me asked her why she was all alone. she said they were very poor in orani, bataan.
but you know what really got me hooked instantly was her line: "kasi sir gusto ko pang mabuhay."
i was like grabbed on my head, and my skull smashed on the ground. the night before i met her, i was questioning life..love etc.
at 80 years of age, the lady beside me, wanted to live, even that means living on her own.
take care. if you can't count your blessings now then don't. cry but don't cry for the next ten thousand years..people will make horrible urban legends about you.
if you feel life is cruel.. then one day if you feel low, take the things you take for granted out of context,
example in the night when you sleep, try to sleep on the floor. walang unan, walang kumot. sahig lang ang kayakap.
Post a Comment