H E L P . . .

I don't know where i am going, i don't know where i've been... I am lost, and worst who am i?
For so long i been dreaming to express my self, for so long i want to be heard, to be free and to tell the world the real me, but the chance never came, the chance i been dreaming was out of my reach.
I want to scream, I want the whole world to know but how?
For so long i been hiding, hiding the real me, ashamed and afraid of what the world would tell, of what my parents, friends, would think, but i'm so full of hatred and guilt and i could no longer contain all these things inside, My hearts is could no longer bear the pain, and in any moment would explode.
I wish i had never been born, but life is full of color and light, of beauty and happiness but then all these things vanished as you came to my life.
I want to hate you, I want the world to know how i hated you, but then deep in my heart i know i love you so much, so much that i could give my life for you.
But life is not fair, why it has to be you? the pain is unbearable, it hurts me every time i see you with him, when it should be me caressing you.
I know you love him so much, as he loves you, but i could no longer bear he pain, I wanted to leave but all of you said "don't leave"," stay with us", but none o you knew the real reason why i"m leaving.
I loved you with all my heart and soul, but i wasn't given the chance to say, to prove and show you, and worst you became my brothers wife.
Life is really something, now i don't know where to stand, as a brother i love and honor him, he gave us things that no ordinary brother could give, but he stole the woman i love...
You do not know this, and now i don't know me either, I am no longer the person i know, i am lost and i don't know where to find my self, I am lost i the midst of the people who loved me.
I needed help, but where will i find it? I need someone to guide me, I need help!

Anyone? Anybody?

I cant take it anymore........






terrence........